She was everywhere
My life is intertwined with Bill’s because his soulmate is the grandmother of my daughters.
That’s where I’m speaking from.
My dearest Bill
She wasn’t just your soulmate
She was a sunshine
She was optimism incarnated
It’s not that you were not surrounded
You had incredible support
Many true friends
Sons who showed up
A family who loved you
And countless hearts who cared about yours
It’s not that you didn’t love us enough
Or that you didn’t try
You cared so much about us
You had been our steady, reliable guide
The one we could always count on
But when your sunshine dies
How could we ask you to see the light?
How could we expect you to get back up and hold on tight?
There was no “getting over” this sunset
We can keep missing her
It hurts and it’s unfair and we’re still angry
But she’s our supernova now
She still warms us and lights our way somehow
But you, you were right in the eye
Your heart didn’t break when she died
It was shattered
You knew how wonderful your life was with her
You were grateful
You were so proud of her
You were in love with each other
You adored her
And she adored you
You called her Sweetheart
And you were her brave heart
She saw all the ways you were a fantastic man
She loved your wit, she loved your charm
She loved your magnificent chest and your strong, dependable arms
She saw you
She knew where you came from
How much you had to fight
That nothing was ever given
That you had so much to be proud of
How you had plowed through trauma
How you managed to navigate life
With such determination and cleverness
She saw all the ways you always tried
To do the right thing
She was so proud of you
She was grateful to be your wife
You perfected her
She was only our firefly because you were watching over her
Because you made sure she had room to fly
Alleviate the pain of that loss?
She was everywhere
In the front seat of your canoe
Wearing your matching Tilley hats
On the sleeping mat next to you
On that camping trip or that adventure
Feeding chickadeedeedees
Listening to Mr. lonesome whippoorwill
Spotting the loons, the ones you called "Patrick Huard"
Hosting with absolute warmth these dinners and parties
Caring for your children and grandchildren
Dancing in your arms
Cupping your face in her hands
« Billo »
She was the epitome of joy
And she was in everything fun to you
And through the most dramatic times of your lives
You stood by her
You held her tight
“It’s ok Sweetheart…”
When you had to stand here and look at her urn
When you knew that everything you ever loved doing was now forever without her
You still had the courage and the charisma to write and deliver
The most beautiful love letter
Bill
What a lover! What a carer! What a man!
She held on to you
You made her shine
You were not just her soulmate
You were her rock
Her very charming prince
I do not want this to end, Bill
I don’t want to see you go
But It wasn’t about me, or us
Or anything we could have said
Or should have done
That would have changed the outcome
I miss you Bill, I love you Bill
I could have used way more of your company
Your dad jokes, your warm hugs, your clever advice
And as much as I am angry that life can be that unfair, that unkind
And inflict on you such excruciating sorrow
I am twice as astounded
By the grace of the universe
Who created you two magnificent people
Lead your way to each other
And allowed us all
to steep in your souls
If love is all that really matters
Then it certainly isn’t life’s illusions that you recalled
You really knew love, Bill
You really knew life and all
***
Poem written and spoken by Sarah Catherine Megas for William Victor Baker