Well I guess, this is work now
Si c’est trop et/ou que ça va trop vite, fais juste garder ça pour une autre fois.
Tu y reviendras seulement si ça te tente et quand tu le sentiras.
Pour le dire autrement : tu t’en viendras, si et quand ça adonnera.
Pas de rush ni de presse. Tu fais comme tu le sens, et je continue ma vie, ma foi…
***
Well I guess, this is work now
Here I am again, on one of our sacred lands.
I’m dining at our Dunn’s, the one that’s on Elgin.
It turned into a Zack’s. Ottawa’s eating back!
Remembering the places of our firsts, I’m not quite sure where
You and I sat when we were there.
We did them all back then, remember? It's getting hard to decipher.
We started at the pub, then over to our Dunn’s.
All I really remember of that night is the ride.
You said everything you had to say.
"I want this to continue."
Wonderful!
Me too!
How many years ago, again? When did we forget? Our first date!
The date after which you cannot say you didn’t know.
The day since when we cannot say it’s all pretend.
We sealed a big deal on that night.
I remember it well.
I can only sing today because of what happened on that day
And everything that came afterwards, all thanks to you.
***
This is only the beginning, and since it all started with you, that is, way back when, then I could reminisce for days and talk about it for hours, but that's not the point here, so I'll focus, and get back on track, I mean, return to what I wanted to say.
Blessed will be the day I know which detail I should skip with you.
So anyway, I ended up at our Dunn's because it was time to eat. I was getting hungry. So I got in, and next thing you know, I'm eager for a strike! If you don't believe me, you can reconcile the time on my laptop with the timing of our texts and calls on that day.
I say "our texts and calls" and I mean: when I let you grab my attention with your requests for clarification, while I was busy thinking about Kim Thúy and reflecting on the Perfect Book Store, all the while reminiscing about Grannie.
You know that Grannie is often on my mind, but that day she occupied a lot of my mental space. In my contemplations, I got a copy of my last gift to her, remember? The coasters from bougie+birdie. They still carry them! How lucky? And the bougie+birdie store on Elgin is as wonderful as it's always been: warm, welcoming and cozy.
Mon genre de caverne aux merveilles.
I was also with Grannie while at Belong Ottawa, where I had spent the morning and a big chunk of that day after being invited in by a lovely lady with whom I chatted while she was smoking outside and I was admiring the garden and architecture of St. John The Evangelist, the Anglican church at the corner of Elgin and Somerset. I sat on a bench I'm sure Grannie sat on at some point.
You can see it as me getting some Grannie vibes for courage, confidence, and inspiration.
Grannie is everywhere. How wonderful? I carry her with me. Do I carry her for you?
On the picture, coffee is already on refill, and by the time the food arrived, I had written something. I thought that's good enough to be saved but not yet ready to be published, so what seemed like a reasonable next step before taking a picture for you was to open another doc to hide the other one's content.
It's the syndrome of the black page.
I also won't take a picture of my desktop to prove to you that I am working. It's all entangled. There's no point in adding to your confusion. But I wanted to take a picture so you could see, that even when I said I'm spending the night at the dinner, sowry, it wasn't all made up. This is work now.
I then had to move over to Elgin Street Diner, pusique je suis rentrée à point d'heure.
There'll be poems for them as well. I cannot wait to tell you all about it!
But for now, serious stuff! Let me focus!
???
So here I am (in simple words): At our Dunn’s.
And here’s what I’m doing (in point form, your favorite, centered, cause I find it cuter):
Eating delicious food
Getting impressed by the solemnity of the place
Remembering what RU meant for me
You would interrupt to ask: What’s RU?
So I would respond to your interruption (skipping the details, so as not to lose you):
RU is the most powerful poetry I have ever read, from cover to cover (mind you, for the vast majority of what I read, I’m more of a bibliomancy kinda girl, than a cover to cover).
So I’ll continue (without telling you WHY!!! RU is the most powerful poetry I have ever read, from cover to cover), and go straight to the point:
I am imagining ways to make Kim Thúy's poetry known and read in Ottawa.
I’ll leave it at that. But I won’t leave you without a poem! That’s how it all started, so there’s no other way.
The next poem is the one I wrote for you at the spa! Remember?
I wrote I’m at the spa. You replied LOL. In small caps, if I recall. Then, when I came back, you said "oh you were actually at the spa! I thought you were kidding". Why would I be kidding? I wrote I’m at the spa. I don’t understand: this is a simple sentence, validated by context.
My context is your data, I'll have you know!
I'll get my letters just to prove you that I'm right!
(I also don't want to be disconnected from the solutions, isn't that part of your thesis?)
I could feel that my body was starting to take a toll, so I thought that’s it, I’m heading to the spa. I need to get pampered! And look at me now: even at the spa, I am working! Inspiration comes, it doesn’t get summoned. I’m still doing the best I can, not knowing exactly what I'm doing.
It's called trusting the process. I just do what I feel needs to be done, and I know what I'm feeling fairly well. So of course, I’m at the spa, and I am getting inspired like crazy! The view, the people, the wonderfully crafted experience...
How could I not be working at the spa?
That poem for you at the spa came in one strike, or I should say, roughly in one strike. Roughly is good enough, comme tu m'as appris, et comme dirait Vilfredo. Tu ne sais pas que c’est le prénom de Pareto, et moi non plus d’ailleurs, je le mets ici comme ça seulement pour faire ma maligne, et peut-être aussi te remettre affectueusement à ta place :
Il y a tant d'histoires signifactives que tu ne sais pas. Ne l'oublie jamais !
Est-ce moi qui te parle ?
Ou bien est-ce ta mère ?
Peut-être même est-ce ta grand-mère ?
Je te taquine.
C'est le risque que tu dois être prête à courir,
Car c'est celui que j'ai tendance à susciter.
Alors, comme tu t'en doutes, moi non plus je n'avais jamais pris le temps de savoir qu'il s'appelait Alfredo. Même si j'avais eu ce temps, je n'aurais jamais retenu cette information. J'étais juste là pour chercher si ça prenait 1 ou 2 t. Mon oeil s'est arêté sur Vilfredo, et je n'ai eu d'yeux que pour lui. Il m'a faite penser à Alfredo, alors je retiens en acceptant d'être encore plus mélangée.
Je t'ai déjà parlé d'Alfy !
So anyway, focus Sarah!
When I say it came in one strike, you understand: I do put down my pen and look around sometimes. I can even have conversations in between, even though I’m getting less and less tolerant to interruptions. Please don’t ever stop helping me survive transitions with others.
When will it end? I’m still not sure, but since I only came back from the spa after you had dealt with everything (and 99% of the transitions, leaving me that 1% I could manage), I can imagine why you thought I was kidding.
I said spa was great, and there I wrote a poem for you! That was short and sweet and true!
I can imagine that a heads-up could sound to you like a thank you for everything that you’re doing, mais vois-tu, c’est peu probable. I can try to try, comme tu aimes dire, so I won't promise you that I'll do. Je ne suis pas la seule à devoir changer de cadence.
Et puis, tu comprends, il faut que j’aille au spa pour trouver l’inspi (i.e. pour que ça fasse du sens ailleurs qu'entre moi et moi et que j'arrive à formuler un élément de ma pensée pertinent pour d'autres, dont toi), alors j’y suis allée comme ça, me, myself, and I, avec les coupons qu’on avait reçus en cadeau pour toutes les deux. I can see the optics: they don't look great, mais voilà !
Tu dis toujours que tu n’aimes pas le spa, alors pourquoi pas !
On a des billets, et tu n’aimes pas le spa, alors autant y'aller sans toi !
On a des billets, et j’ai mal partout, alors autant aller au spa !
On a des billets, et en plus j’aime ça, alors c'est décidé ! Je file au spa !
C’était une journée sans écran, alors j’ai écrit ton poème au spa à la main. Le poème pour toi que j'ai écrit au spa n'est pas celui que j'écris ici. Je dois le recopier au clavier, je dois donc exécuter une tâche sans valeur ajoutée. Les mots sont déjà écrits, je ne vais pas les transformer. Ton poème écrit au spa s'en vient, ne t'en fais pas. Il faudra juste que tu sois un peu patiente.
Avant de passer au prochain texte à sortir (ou bien à pondre, c'est selon), je commence par te dire merci, je persiste à avancer que je te dois tout, et je te nargue en te disant, affectueusement :
Que tu le veuilles ou non, je continuerai de chanter mes poèmes !
Je signe Sarah Catherine Megas, se cachant derrière Savato Kiriako pour le choix des mots.