She is sad.

She told him: "Go." 

When she meant: "Stay, please, or come back, please, I'm sorry."

When two souls meet and fall in love with each other,

Sometimes, one of the souls will react in ways

To create a paradox between what SHE SAYS ("Go.") and what SHE MEANS

("Stay, please, or come back, please, I'm sorry.")

 

After her loved-soul is gone, she formulates in A SONG

What she meant when she said "Go." but that wasn't what she meant to say after all

 

Through ART, in this case, A SONG, AN ARTIST is able to PROCESS

Her feelings & Her understanding & Her repentive work

As to WHY she went on to say "Go." when she meant

Something among the lines of: Stay, please, or come back, please, I'm sorry.

 

Her Face in the Crowd, in the Clouds, Through the Maze

 

[If you could write a letter to your 15-year-old self, in the form of a poem]

 

Her kind of influence is the kind that would have “helped me out”

Every time I had to face infamy.

 

She would have “done something”.

She would have “been there for me”.

 

She would have "guarded over me", if I had known her,

Every time I had to face infamy.

 

She wasn’t there, so I did what I could

But knowing her now, I can look back

 

And appreciate the fact that she wasn’t there to “help me out”

Because it allowed me to “learn a thing or two”, “on my own”

 

Without her by my side.

 

Since I “learned a thing or two”, without her by my side

I  can only appreciate the scarcity of “her face”

i.e. how “unlikely” it is to meet “someone like her”

 

Since I spent my life up until she bumped into me

Looking for “her face”, everywhere I went

 

Most notably: when I was looking for help to fight back

Against infamy.

That makes her face holly to me.

She is a golden nugget. A golden bullet. A rare cookie.

 

Speaking of her in such praises

Makes me “a fan” of the virtues

That she “incarnates” “to me”

Speaking

As someone who “looked for her”

While she “said a little prayer”

Which made our respective

Wishes

 

The wishes of our love

 

She asked questions to the moon

Among other things

 

While I anxiously fell asleep

After having “imagined” someone

Living up to the virtues required

To help me out as I faced infamy

 

Often, I “found” her face while at Alternative #3

At times, I had to wait until Alternative #33

 

I pictured her

So that I could “shut down” the “faces” of infamy

I was trying to fight back, before I could fall asleep

To have a dreamless, yet “resourceful” sleep

And start looking for her face in a crowd the next morning

With every breath I took

 

“She must be somewhere. She cannot, not exist.

Ma la trouver, pis l’embrasser,

Respectfully, respectably, proudly, fondly, tenderly

To thank her for existing,

And to ask if she wouldn’t mind

Telling me “a thing or two” about who she is

Allowing me to stare at her

Respectfully, respectably, proudly, fondly, tenderly

Making a little room for me in her paradise

Respectfully, respectably, proudly, fondly, tenderly

Please."

***